Next up in this series – the E and F of Family Law. This week, we’ll be discussing what effect email and social media has on separations, and how to handle your emotions.
Many couples choose to communicate by email or text over financial or children issues. Whilst this is better than no communication at all, try to work towards discussing matters face-to-face if at all possible. When emotions are running high, this is not always achievable and for some couples it can never be restored. However, if there’s any chance of getting it back then it’s worth trying, especially if you have children.
It takes more effort to hold on than it does to let go.
You’ll be experiencing a huge range of emotions all at the same time: sadness, anger, hurt, and fear being some of the most common. These emotions can seem overwhelming at times and it’s often difficult to make sense of them. Comfort can often be found in family and friends, but remember also that professional support is always available through family therapists and counsellors – see our recommended ones in our panel of experts.
You’re advised not to use Facebook or any other social network as a means of venting your anger and frustration about your partner. The court can and does admit such entries as evidence in court. Facebook provides us lawyers with a wealth of very useful evidence we can use against the other side, but we do not want our own clients putting their own heads in a noose. So please… don’t!
Try not to express your opinions as though they’re facts when discussing matters with your former partner. Opinions can never be right or wrong, they’re just opinions.
If children are involved, our aim is to deal with the legal aspects in a way which minimises the pain for the whole family. Although your relationship as husband and wife has come to an end, you’ll still have an on-going relationship as mum and dad. A family will still exist at the end of the case – it’ll just look slightly different.
All of us are fallible – we’re all bound to make mistakes. We’re only human after all. As far as the children are concerned in this process, you’ll not always get it right. Accept that and don’t be too hard on yourself.
Look out for the G, H & I of Family Law next week.